The start of my Grad School Career and the Paper from HELL!!!

Grad school began for me at NYU this summer.  I was so excited to begin but my grad school career didn't start without a fight.  First of all, I thought it would be brilliant to take 12 hours during the summer....that turned out to be a nightmare.  I was also not able to work because I had class from 9:00AM to 9:00 PM almost everyday so I was living on practically nothing because my student loans had not come through yet.  I had to deal with this whole crazy mess of not being approved for the loan and then doing all this paperwork for them to reconsider.  Those were the minor stresses and frustrations.  The biggest one was the research paper I had to write for my "Methods" class that almost killed me.  I'm not even exaggerating. I had so much research.  I had so many observations and thoughts in my head and they would not transfer from my brain to paper until I absolutely had to figure it out.  Surprisingly, I didn't start this paper the night before, I was continually working on it but would give up because I didn't know if that's how it was supposed to work.  There was no structure for the paper except the following:

• A qualitative research paper that was centered around something of interest in Washington Square Park
• There had to be an arts based component
• We had to have at least three-five 30 minute observations in the park that we had to journal about
• We had to code our data from the analytic memos that we wrote after each observation to find the main topics that came up in the observations.
• Then we were to write three to four different chapters:
• Chapter 1: Stance of the Researcher/Methodological and Epistemological Framework
• Chapter 2: Literature Review
• Chapter 3: Analysis and Reflection/Synthesis
• Chapter 4: Art based component and Reflection on the research process

That's it!  That's all we had.  Of course our class consisted of walking us through the process via articles we read, group discussions, and reflections on the process.  However, when anyone would ask something like, how many pages does each chapter need to be?  How do we code our data? or anything along the lines of structure, our teacher would respond with "It does not matter, this is your research and your observations, so synthesize it however you want.  When you have nothing else to say move on."  WHAT?!!!!!  That's too broad!!!!  So I had such trouble figuring out the "right way" to do the paper when there was really no right or wrong anyway!  UGH!! I hated this paper.   It was so #$#)*@%^ hard!

Class=Foreign Language?

My topic of interest was musicians in the park and how the people in the park respond to them.  I loved doing observations and watching the interaction, but that's all I enjoyed.  Our class was for three weeks and the paper was due three weeks later after the class was over.  We had a lot of time and our teacher made sure to tell us that "you cannot do this paper this night before."  Clearly, she had no idea that's the only way I can work.  So, that whole week before the paper was due I was working on it over at my friend Kendall's house because my apartment was crazy.  Finally, my place settled down a little bit because all of my roommates were gone and I was able to spread out and work the best way I know how....in a circle on the hardwood floor with coffee by my side. 
Work continued little by little but the bulk of the paper was done the night before the due date.  I stayed up all night, didn't eat, cried, and prayed to the good Lord in heaven that I could finish it and think. I debated skipping my Drama in Education class that night so I could get a head start on finishing the  paper but the presentation was on Theatre in Africa and I just knew if I missed it I would regret it.  So after much debate, crying on the phone to my poor mother and basically throwing a fit in the subway station, I decided to go to that class.   That meant I didn't really start writing till 10ish or so that night so that added to my craziness. 

 

This is what research looks like!

I changed locations at some point hoping it would help my brain!

   

I sent my Chapter 1 to Clare a few days before and at one point, on the day the paper was due,  she called me and told me the first part of my paper was awful and needed a lot of editing.  I almost lost it and freaked out. She knows me all too well and had to say to me "Okay, Crystal, it's okay...don't throw up."  I can laugh at that now, but in the moment I was a complete and utter mess.  Mama and Papa were even worried about me!  Mom called me almost every day during the week the paper was due just to check on me and make sure I was still sane!  Thankfully, by the grace of God, I turned that paper in at 4:59...it was due at 5pm on July 31st. I seriously was shocked I finished it because there were so many moments when  I thought I couldn't do it anymore.  Each time that happened I paced the floor, cried a lot, and breathed in and out slowly so I wouldn't hyperventilate.  In those moments I talked to myself and said over and over "You can do it, you can do it, Jesus help!"    Thankfully he did help and I got an A!!! Miracles do happen y'all because that was one of them.  I'm so glad I don't ever have to write a paper like that again...at least I hope not.

And that was the start of my grad school career...a ridiculous summer of stress and craziness.  I enjoyed my classes, the people I met, and putting on a Shakespeare Production with high schoolers, but if I could do this summer over again, I would not have taken 12 hours.  However, I think I'm really glad I got that awful research class over with. 


If you are brave and feel like reading my findings, here is my paper in full.  If you decide you want to read it please forgive all of my grammatical errors.  I honestly did not edit my paper like I should have so I'm sure it's full of so many crazy mistakes.  I didn't even count the pages before I turned it in, or read it completely...I still haven't so you'll know more than me!  LOL

Chapter 1:  Methodological and Epistemological Framework
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B10LaEmYbsbEX1FnYzdxY0toQmM/edit?usp=sharing

Chapter 2: Literature Review
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B10LaEmYbsbERXpYbmdfOWN2NzQ/edit?usp=sharing

Chapter 3: Analysis and Reflection_Synthesis
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B10LaEmYbsbEMWNiMnlaaXdhU2s/edit?usp=sharing

Chapter 4: Art Based Component and Reflection on the Process
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B10LaEmYbsbEZkczbGMzOTljRHc/edit?usp=sharing


Here are some of the better moments of grad school this summer

Meeting The Lobbyists, a cool bluegrass band during observations in the park.

 

 

Looking for Shakespeare:  It was fun helping with the production of As You Like It.

 Love A Relieved Grad Student,
Miss Gulley in Manhattan