Rebecca and I ended our search as roommates when we found a 2 bedroom in Upper Manhattan that was livable and safe but way out of our price range. They were asking 1st months rent, last months rent and a broker fee/deposit. With the 2 bedroom being in the 1400 range that was not even close to being doable! So, we just decided to part ways and look on our own. I still haven't found a place to live and I'm afraid that come October 21st, which is a week from today, I will actually be couch surfing...except I don't know enough people to ask to crash on their couch! Also, I have to make a decision ..I can sublet for a couple of extra months, get another job, save some money and get a place of my own or just find roommates who have already signed a lease. To me...alone seems divine, but in reality it's all about affordability right now and to be honest I don't even have enough to pay November rent right now. I mean, I'll have it when November comes but I've worked all month just for rent. I'm living a new lifestyle and it is crazy, I'm rendered speechless most of the time because I just don't get it. But, it's all part of the experience and all part of being a New Yorker. I do know the Lord provides and I do know he keeps his promises so I am going to find a place sooner or later. However, I'm not gonna lie, it's stressful.
Enough about apartment hunting and onto daily life. Classes in New Jersey are the highlight of my week and every time I leave my heart aches for my own class to teach. The kids in the class are soooo cute!! I feel like I need to work out my teaching muscles or they will go away! I think often I should just teach here but I'm being so stubborn because why would I do that?!! I left my job that I loved to pursue other things that I can't pursue because I'm just trying to survive!!!! Can you tell I'm so frustrated? Anyway, I do hope that CYT will need me more in the Spring because I would love to teach every day of the week. Classes are only two hours out of a day and I think that would be amazing!
My Meisner class is so good and I feel like I'm finally getting it. I'm not having sleepless nights about my crafting and I feel like I'm learning so much. Charles, has informed me that I am too much of a lady and that I need to quit being so polite in class when I'm "at the door." I've said this before, but I have to say it again. This acting class really taps into the parts of myself that need to be worked on. It's unreal to me how being vulnerable will change you. My partner for class has made me ponder a few things too like "Do I really want to be an actor? If so, then why am I not putting for the effort it takes to be a good one?" He challenged me with those questions while we were rehearsing one day and man, it hit me hard. After he asked me those things I put my game face on and have really been working hard. I'm so used to things being easy for me but not anymore. It just got real on so many levels.
With all that being said I went to a non-union audition last weekend for Songs for a New World. I feel like I've got to start small so I have little victories. My goal for the auditions was to go in the room sing and leave feeling good about it. I didn't expect to get the part, I just wanted to not feel so defeated after the audition like I normally do. I rehearsed with an accompanist the two songs I chose to sing on Friday and later that night I worked with my friend Elizabeth on it too so I felt really prepared. That in itself was a little victory. I went to the audition on Saturday. Keep in mind, I always have issues with finding the right thing to wear because I'm never right. The last audition I was dressed in black pants and a cute top and walked out without auditioning. This time I thought I would wear a cute dress and heels just to be safe. HAHAHA the laugh is on me because the girls were wearing skinny jeans and boots!!! GEEEES, I'm just gonna wear what I want to auditions because I'm not going to be dressed right anyway! I mean how do you know what to wear?!!!! I was so frustrated by that but I felt good about my preparation and did like my outfit so I wasn't going to walk out without auditioning. Then, it was my turn. I walked in, told the accompanist where to start, introduced myself and proceeded with the audition. The accompanist started and I didn't because he was supposed to play the pick up note and didn't so I was totally thrown off. I looked at him and said "Oh, oops, I was supposed to be singing...can we start again?" And then started again and sang my 16 bars, said thank you and walked out the door. Man, auditions are not my friend but I will say that even though I wasn't dressed right and I had to start over it was progress. I mean, I at least showed up and was prepared. The next audition will be even better and soon enough I will walk into the audition room expecting to get the part... at least I hope I get there one day.
Being in survival mode is rough but I have been blessed the past few weeks to be working at Columbia University at the Teacher's College Research Center. It's a desk job where I get to answer phones, sort files and do a whole lot of nothing. I can't complain because I'm getting paid and the people in the office are super duper nice. The best part is a lady in the office named Gladys. She is an actress with a wealth of knowledge about the business that she freely shares with me any chance she gets. . I just know I was put there so I could meet her and soak up all the stuff she tells me. I have one more week there working full time while Sarah, the receptionist, is on a cruise. After that, I don't know where I will be temping but I think it's kinda cool I can say I worked at Columbia University for a month.
Last week was my birthday and it was a little weird. I didn't tell anyone because I just didn't feel like making a big deal about it. However, I told my acting partner, Luis, because we rehearsed that morning. . After we rehearsed I went to work at Columbia, then headed to my Meisner class and then headed for the train home in Union Square. A precious thing happenend...Luis and Afrim happened to be on the other side of the street by the train and walked over to me. They were making comments like "I would love some dessert," "Is there a place to stop and get something?" The whole time I was a little clueless and then they said " It's your birthday and you need to celebrate! We are going to buy you dessert and stick a candle on top so you can make a wish" It was so sweet and so special. I looked at Luis and said "you weren't supposed to tell anyone," and then Afrim chimes in and said " You're a long way from home, it's the least we can do." Tears came to my eyes because it was exactly what I needed! It was so sweet, Luis bought me flowers and Afrim bought me a red velvet cupcake, my favorite! They bought a candle and sang Happy Birthday to me in the middle of Union Square. That is a moment I will never forget! Last Friday I celebrated with Rebecca, Elizabeth and Megan by ordering sushi and watching Funny Face at Elizabeth's house. It was full of good food, conversation and fun!
So, I'm 33 and living in New York! That's pretty amazing! I complain, I cry, I stress out and wonder how I'm going to survive but my life is good. I know I'm in good hands and I am blessed every single day.
Here's to the apartment search that never ends, the auditions that can only get better and a journey that is unbelievable. I think 33 is gonna be a great year!
Love,
Miss Gulley in Manhattan
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| Luis, Me, Afrim, and my birthday cupcake! |
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| Girls party night! |
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| A nice treat! Rebecca got comp tickets for the Met dress rehearsal of Otello with Renee Fleming! We had our own box! |
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| Party food and so yummy! |
