A breakthrough...finally

Disclaimer:  I wrote this months and months ago and never posted it for some reason. This happened around April sometime. 

I had a week of really tough Meisner classes and then all of a sudden I had an amazing breakthrough.  It was exciting, scary and an amazing ride all at the same time. It was also totally unexpected.  For the first time I think I really understood what acting was and it was nothing like my original thought.
After my let down of sucking at crafting I was determined to craft something that would give my partner a lot to work of off as well as really work on me.  I was still working with the idea of revenge because my first attempt was so stupid and really served no purpose.  My activity consisted of sitting at my computer making a list of all the stuff a co-worker did that wronged me and there was no consequence, no real reason and nothing was going to be achieved by it.  Therefore, I failed and was given a second chance because the boys last time were so ridiculously amazing!
Like I said, I was 100 percent determined to craft something amazing.  So, I decided I needed to talk it through with people instead of just thinking of it on my own.  I can write out my thoughts but eventually I give up because there is no one there to tell me it sucks or its good.  I talked through my circumstance/activity with Tom David, Clare and my roommate.  Through all of that brainstorming this is what I came up with for class...keep in mind this is an imaginary circumstance that I have to put myself in and one that is personal and meaningful.
Circumstance: I was raped by a person I know and he wouldn't take no for an answer. He stole my innocence and I need to take it upon myself to expose his wrongdoing because after filing a report the cops won't do anything and are saying it was consensual. Within this circumstance I had to give him a name a personality and daydream the happenings in my head.
Activity: At first it was to break in to his apartment and frame him for drug use and child porn but couldn't think of how I could actually do that in class.  So it turned out to be me buying energy drinks and trading it out with a laxative and then getting a white t-shirt and invisible ink and writing on the shirt what he did.  I knew he was going to a rave with black lights, so he would be wearing a white shirt and I knew that he would be drinking an energy drink before he left.
What was I trying to achieve:  Justice,  he needed to be exposed so it wouldn't happen again and he would be mortified when the blacklight revealed his wrongdoing.  The laxative would work on him in a way that wouldn't allow him to really function because it would mess up his system.

So, I had to craft all of this, go out and buy all the stuff and then hope that it worked on me in class. Not only did I have to craft an activity but I had to craft an expecting that consisted of me at my most (insert emotion) So when my partner came to the door it wasn't him I was expecting but someone else.  So, I crafted me at my happiest/excited and I knew Katrina was coming by really fast to show me her engagement ring because she just got engaged.  I had a congratulations banner, a gift to give her and balloons to blow up so when I opened the door it was a huge congratulations!

Okay so here's how it went down in class.  Well, actually before the class, while I was scrambling to buy everything I needed I called Clare to talk it through with her one more time and I freaked out and said "Oh my gosh I can't do this! I'm skipping class and not going!  I was totally acting like I was five because I was so uncomfortable with the whole activity and nervous and scared all at the same time.  I felt like a totally different person all day. During class, I was already riled up because of my nervousness but also because I went to the wrong studio for class.   As soon as the first set of partners went tears just started rolling down my face.  Her activity was powerful and pretty amazing.  So then it was my turn and whoa!  I can't even describe what happened.  The activity worked on me in a way that made me so emotional and enraged.  I was shaking, crying and screaming at my partner who came to the door.  He was totally shocked and surprised and got emotional as well.  It was amazing!  So that's my story.  I went there and it was a huge breakthough....finally!!!