I realized today that substitute teaching is not my favorite. It has been okay so far but today was extremely interesting. I subbed at a ridiculously wealthy private school. This is the first year of existence and it's a full immersion school in Mandarin or Spanish. I subbed for Kinder while the teachers went to some professional development. It was fine in the beginning until I was almost pushed over by a little boy who didn't like me telling him to move his magnetic thingy's back to the center of the room. I've never been pushed by a child before so I was a bit stunned and then tried to put him in a "time out scenario" and he just said he didn't want to. As a sub, I cannot touch these kids or take anything away from them so I was actually really helpless. I hate walking in to a classroom where I don't know any of the kids and don't know what they need or how to handle them when they get upset. The teachers brief me really well but of course, nothing prepares me for the worst. So, whatever. I'm glad that was only a half day and hopefully the next assignment won't be tough like that one. The thing that stresses me out the most is that subbing jobs are hard to come by if you're not staring at your computer all day waiting for a job to pop up in your personal job bank. Since it's midnight and I've been gone all day I don't have a job for tomorrow. That means I don't sleep b/c I know that they will call at 5:00AM and ask me to work. Then at 5:00AM when they call I have to be coherent enough to make the decision to work or not to work and I have to know how far away it is etc. Most jobs are at least 45 min to an hour away from me. So, it's stressful and I like my sleep so I have to be honest and say I just changed my availability to unavailable for tomorrow so I wouldn't be called in the morning. I know that's probably not ideal for me but I can't do another sleepless night wondering if i'm working. I am looking forward to my own class with my own kids that I know well enough to know their needs and how to handle them. Thankfully I start with that job next week and then I will only have to sub 2 days a week. Woo Hoo!
It's that time again for the second semester of my Meisner Class. I'm so out of practice and I have to have an independent activity for tomorrow. I am not excited about it. I cannot figure out activities that are meaningful. I think it goes back to the fact that I just don't want to do certain things in front of people. I've said this before and I have to say it again... I just need to get over myself. So, here's to sleepless nights for a while. I just hope my day off tomorrow will be productive because I've gotta have a good independent activity and I'm not in the mood to make a coherent decision at 5:00AM to work. Because stressed is desserts spelled backwards, I'm gonna have some wine and chocolate before I call it a night.
Love,
A stressed out and tired,
Miss Gulley in Manhattan
No comments:
Post a Comment